Family Service of Central Indiana, Inc

Getting the most out of your family dinner

Sitting down at the table together is still one of the best ways for families to stay connected. While we may worry as families that we are not spending enough time together, it’s worth noting that particular “key” times and predictability may be more critical than quantity of time. For example, evidence suggests that having parents available at meal time and bed time will go a long way toward children feeling a sense of well being and security.

Making family dinners a priority is not easy, but the long-term benefits are well worth the effort. Family dinners foster togetherness, give family members a chance to share their lives and to receive encouragement and support, and provide stability and predictability. Research has actually shown that kids who have dinner with their parents regularly are less likely to get into trouble and negative behavior.

Here are some tips to help you get the most out of your family dinner:

Don't feel guilty if family dinners are not a daily event. But make eating together at least 3 or 4 times a week a priority. That means making time together non-negotiable and setting limits on kid’s and parent’s activities.
Turn off the TV, radio, and cell phones. Having more family dinners may initially be met with some resistance, especially if they are not a regular part of your household schedule. Being fully present without distractions will eventually be appreciated and welcomed.
Always involve your kids in the dinner conversation. Ask open-ended questions – those that require more than a one word answer. Don’t ask “How was your day?”, but “what was the most interesting part of your day?” “What do you think about such and such that’s in the media?” The art of conversation, and learning to listen and take turns speaking, are important social skills for everyday life. Talking about current events provides an opportunity to share your values and for kids to begin to clarify theirs.
Family discussions need not begin and end while seated at the dinner table. Family members, including even young children, may begin communicating while helping to prepare the meal and setting the table. Mealtime conversations may continue as the family clears the table and does the dishes.

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